Figuring It Out

I came to the realization that I’ve been feeling incredibly lonely lately, which I know is going to rankle some feathers, so let me stipulate the following:

  • Yes, I have friends.
  • Yes, I’ve been going out and being social.
  • No, I don’t hide in my offices at work.
  • No, I’m not anti-social.

I’m in a good place right now. I have a job that I adore at a place I view as a second home. I’m teaching at a couple of conferences this summer, doing a faculty week at GFC, and attending conferences relating to my profession. Still, it feels like something is missing.

I think part of this lonely feeling has to do with the JOC work I’ve been doing with the URJ and at Temple. I’m proud to be involved and am passionate about the cause, but it can be incredibly draining, especially since I’ve been in recent situations where there is an undercurrent of racism that I want to call out, but am unsure of how to go about it without feeling like I’m damaging my image, both personal and professional. I don’t want that to all my hard work over the past several years to be wiped out, yet I know that I cannot let this go on much longer without saying something.

I don’t want to end this on such a sour note, so I’ll end with a shout-out to the Jews of Color Field Building Initiative. They published an important report about how Jews of Color have been historically under-counted in the Jewish community.

Shabbat Shalom!

One comment

  1. I love your writing. I’m proud of our Jews of color. I cannot imagine the feelings that you feel as you go through your day. I have been working hard to establish a jewish community in San Marcos and I can say that all are welcome here.

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