Day 29

Last week was utterly draining. I have never cried so much over government actions. I have gotten angry, yes, but I’ve never felt so despondent. Honestly, the only thing that keeps me going is the crowds of protestors all over the country.

In American history, we are taught that the Founding Fathers wanted this country to be like no other at the time: division of church and state, religious freedom, free speech, etc. It wasn’t perfect by any means (see: slavery, civil rights, segregation…), but the one thing that defined us was our status as a country with an open door for those seeking safety or a better life. This executive order is against everything we stand for.

I suppose this is hitting a bit of a sore spot for me. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always felt different from everyone else and I can’t really remember a time when I wasn’t questioning if I belonged in whatever community I was in at the time. The feeling of being on the outside is still there, reminding me every time I let my guard down. I remember the day after the election feeling very much out of place in this new America and that is what hurts the most. I am a citizen, I was born here, I vote, I do my civic duty, pay taxes, follow the law, contribute to the economy, but ever since the election, I and so many others now feel like we’re being told that we don’t belong here. I have to keep reminding myself that we do belong here, Trump and his cronies don’t get to define what an American looks like.

I’ve said it before, but the massive protests give me hope and I am contributing in whatever way I can. Resist, defy, practice civil disobedience.

Also? I’d like to be able to read and watch the news without an f-bomb flying out of my mouth every few seconds.