I’ve been meaning to do a lot of things.
I wanted to write here more.
I wanted to be working consistently on my manuscript.
I meant to do better at keeping up with grad classes.
I’ve been trying to be more patient.
And tonight? Tonight is Erev Rosh Hashanah and I meant to sit in the sanctuary with the rest of my community. I meant to push past my hesitations. I meant to be a good Jew. I wanted to start 5779 on a fresh new page of my Jewish journey.
I was not in the sanctuary tonight. I was at Temple but I was not among community. I could not push myself any farther. I am disappointed with myself but at least I was there. That was half the battle and it’s enough for now.