Day 21

Religious school starts up again on Sunday. I’m a little concerned because I’ve been tearing up and crying at weird times and I really don’t want to break down in front of a bunch of fourth graders. I think it’ll be good to get back into that routine despite my fears.

I feel all over the place. There’s a major event at work this weekend, religious school starts back up, I’m trying to figure out my tallit, I’m attempting to get back into the swing of grad school, and I’m doing all of this after losing my mom. Sometimes it feels like I don’t have enough time to get everything done and other times it feels like I have too much time alone. People have been telling me to give myself some grace and I’m trying to do that.

I think I’m probably over worrying about my mental health. I just don’t want to get to a point where there’s a seismic meltdown that’s reminiscent of high school. I just don’t want to slide backwards. Mom worked so hard to get me the help I needed and I don’t want to disappoint her.