Day 33
Today was not very good. I went home from work early, promptly burst into tears, and then went to sleep. When I get despondent like that, it helps to find those things that bring me comfort. When you look through the gallery above, these are just a few items and places that have a calming effect for me. I don’t know why such random things help with the crying fits I have, but I am grateful for them.
The first item is a ceramic statue that my mom has had for as long as I can remember. The second picture is of a pair of scissors, clearly meant for small hands, and I think they came in some sort of craft kit. The third picture is the lid of Borghese facial mud; one of my earliest memories is hiding behind my mom’s legs when we were in Neiman Marcus as she paid for it. The final picture is the front area of El Ranchito, a Mexican restaurant that is one of the landmarks along Jefferson Boulevard.
During a crying fit, my head is in sensory overload, with thoughts overlapping and trying to drown each other out. There’s just so much going on in the world and in my life that I think my usual defenses have gone down temporarily, making way for the floods of tears.
I know I’ll be okay, but this is one of those days when I wonder if I will ever be able to live without depression.