Day 32

It’s been a bit of a week. I feel tired from work, home, and even just watching/reading/attempting to digest the news. I keep meaning to write more cheerful, positive things, but honestly? This is just a typical week in my life, from down to up to down again. I’ve learned how to (mostly) cope with these mood swings that are part of my depression, but sometimes I’m just too exhausted to fight back.

Anyway, I was purging some digital files and came across this piece I wrote a few years ago. Hopefully I will have some fresh new writing for you tomorrow.

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There is a midrash that says the Israelites accepted the Torah in large part because God literally held Mt. Sinai over their heads. They had two choices: either become one with the mountain and forever be flattened or accept the Torah and enjoy the continued use of their limbs. Which would you have chosen?

I bring up this midrash up because it offers some interesting questions about choice, specifically how much of a “choice” do we really have when it comes to big life decisions? As someone who has chosen to become a Jew and undergo the conversion process, I can look back at my life so far and see little seedlings of Jewishness shining through, even though at the time Judaism was the furthest thing from my mind. So even though I wasn’t there at Mt. Sinai and I’ve never had a mountain hanging over my head, I can relate to those people because I just sort of fell into Judaism. I’ve grown to love this religion that was so foreign to me for most of my early life and as someone who was once the stranger, I want to welcome those who may also feel like outsiders.