On Roots

I happened to get a free 23AndMe DNA testing kit a few years ago and I was super excited because while I only really know the recent history of my mom’s side, I definitely don’t know much about my father’s side except that he is from the Philippines. I was surprised when I got the results. I was not expecting to have prominent Native American ancestry, which is pretty cool. I remember my grandma once said we descended from the Mayans and the Mexican state she’s from has deep Native American Indian roots.

What the ancestry results couldn’t tell me was who my father is/was. This father dilemma has been ongoing for most of my life; I go through periods when I could care less what his name is because he left my mom to raise a child on her own. But then there are the phases when I’m desperate to know who he is and what he looks like. Do I have half-siblings? Would his family welcome me or shut me out? Do I even want to know him? Is this a door I really want to open?

All of those questions are moot for now as my mom remains tight-lipped, once saying she would tell me his name but then I would have to move out. She wasn’t kidding.