Counting the Omer

Today is the first day of the Omer

Tonight Jews begin the counting of the Omer. I’m part of a cohort of artists that are exploring the Omer in different creative ways. I decided to start posting here everyday, as well as explore the Omer through watercolors. I realized that I’ve been neglecting my creative side due to the many outside pressures that currently haunt me and I’ve definitely been bottling up a lot of emotions. I’ve lost friendships in the past three months, lost some trust in someone I thought I could always go to, and I’m trying to figure out how to balance my increasing caretaker role and what I want to do with my life. I’ve never been any good with change and when I look around, I see so much of it and feel like a stranger in my own life. I know the antidepressants are doing their job because I haven’t completely broken down, but I worry about what happens when I finally burst.

I am also quietly celebrating the eighth anniversary of my conversion. I attended a friend’s conversion ceremony on Zoom last week and I cried. It was a touching ceremony and it also reminded me of how different my ceremony was, plus so much has changed in the past three months and I’m deeply overwhelmed.

When I was 23, if you had told me how much my life would change, I would have scoffed and told you to go away. I have never regretted converting because it opened my world and gave me a purpose. It hasn’t been easy and there are days when I question if I should just give up, but I know this is where I belong.

One comment

  1. Beautiful colors(some of my favorites). Makes me think of Noah’s ark. If I may be so bold to offer an interpretation:
    “troubled waters” in this time in your life.. It’s so much you are going through all at once yet you stay afloat so beautifully my dear friend…this too shall pass. You are never alone my friend. I am always here, talk soon.

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