37 Years

Today is my 37th birthday and the second one without Mom. This time last year, I was in Mexico City for a fellowship and wasn’t alone, which is what I had been worried about since Mom had died nearly three months prior. It was incredibly meaningful being in Mexico, the place where my ancestors came from, especially during those early days of mourning Mom. 

This year I am in Dallas and in a completely different stage of life than last year. I am 37 weeks pregnant and currently at the hospital getting ready to be induced. I woke up early this morning to my husband wishing me a happy birthday and kissing me goodbye before going to work. When I woke up later, I read his sweet card and burst into tears because of his beautiful words. I am so lucky to have found the love of my life during the hardest time of my life and now we’re about to add a baby to our family, who already has the best siblings and is already loved by so many people. 

I cried again when I got a Tiff’s Treats delivery from friends and read their card and cried some more reading the flood of well wishes on Facebook and via text. I never could have imagined this and I am so grateful. 

And now I’m about to welcome my first child, likely to be delivered tomorrow. I desperately wish Mom were here. I’m excited and scared and absolutely terrified and it’s like everything I learned during the prenatal classes I took has just vacated my brain. But I am looking forward to this new chapter. It’s going to be wonderful and difficult and absolutely worth it. 

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