Day 66

Mom died 74 days ago and was buried 66 days ago.

I turn 36 years old today. It is my first birthday without the woman who first brought me into the world and it feels weird. I keep expecting for her to call and wish me a happy birthday, but I know that’s not going to happen. Despite this, it has been a good day.

At the closing dinner for the fellowship last night, the cohort surprised me with a delicious dessert and sang happy birthday to me in three different languages. It was wonderful to be surrounded by such an amazing and supportive group of people, who also happen to be Latinx Jews.

Today was spent at Frida Kahlo’s house, which was followed by a lively lunch, and walking around. I bought more things than I had planned to, but it’s my birthday and I don’t know when I’ll be back here, so I indulged.

While I have thought about Mom, especially walking around Casa Azul and the marketplace, and wished I could share my pictures with her, I haven’t cried. I bought some beautiful earrings and a few art pieces, plus took pictures of the flowers in her honor. Maybe the tears will come later tonight, but that’s okay. I’m learning to embrace them because I know that’s what Mom would tell me to do and I know that’s what I need.

I miss my mom terribly but she always told me I’d be alright once she was gone and I don’t want to let her down. Being in Mexico has been wonderful and even though she was born in Texas and never came here, I feel close to her.

Here’s to another year of adventures.