Day 2

Today was mostly okay, except for those moments when I remembered Mom is no longer here, which throws me off. When I do cry, one of the things I keep thinking is ”I can’t do this without you, Mama.” She would be so mad if she heard me say that. She always told me I would be all right when she was gone. I just miss her terribly.

Seeing certain members of my extended family on Thursday has also affected my already fragile emotional state. I don’t want to go into details, not yet anyway, but suffice it to say that I clearly have some unhealed trauma that I thought I had dealt with.

During the burial and memorial services, I kept closing my eyes and thinking ”This is not real, this is not happening, this is someone else who died and when I open my eyes, Mom will be standing there.” But, of course, when I opened my eyes, it was real and I was saying goodbye to my mom.

Asking for help has never been my strong suit, but I am trying to change that because I know I can’t get through this alone.


  1. We are here with you every step along the way, through the waves of joy and those of pain and discomfort. Using this platform is such a powerful step in healing!

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