Day 186

I still haven’t visited Mom’s grave in the 6+ months since she was buried. The first few months, I had absolutely no desire to go. I didn’t want to remember the day of her funeral any more than I had to. However, in the last two months, I have wanted to visit, even though I haven’t ordered her headstone yet. I just want to stand at the spot where she is now and try to remember her clearly. I want to say Kaddish at her grave and I want to tell her about everything that’s happened. I was going to attend Kever Avot at the Temple cemetery this year, but I think I want to do my own version at Mom’s grave. That feels right.