Day 148

On October 27, 2020, I posted an entry about how I had finally had a complete breakdown amidst the pandemic.

The past seven months have seen a huge tide of change sweep the world, the country, my life. I was just beginning to become comfortable with where I was at that point, who I was, what I stand for, etc. I had routines set and coping mechanisms that had seen me through the past ten years. It’s not that everything was perfect and happy all the time, it’s just that it felt like my life had finally settled down and I was making real progress in my goals, both work and personal.

For some reason, I thought about this entry today, how I had mourned the certainty that I once had, and I realized something important. Despite how much I have struggled the past several months, I am much more certain of who I am, what I want, what I will fight for, and how I want to live my life. That doesn’t mean that it has been or will always be easy or that I will always feel so certain, but this feels like a significant milestone that’s important to acknowledge.

Shabbat Shalom!

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