Day 133

It’s been kind of a weird week and I’ve found myself thinking a lot about the last few months of Mom’s life, which is never a good idea. There’s nothing I can change now and I know I made the best decisions I could at the time given the circumstances. My brain is pretty scattered and I just want to talk to my mom, but I can’t. I think part of is this is due to the High Holidays quickly approaching and the holiday season following closely behind. I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas alone last year and though that will likely not be the case this year, I’m just dreading them because it was such a terrible time. I’m trying really hard to reframe everything that’s reminding me of Mom. I can’t avoid things or events that remind me of her, but I can give them new context.