2022 Day-By-Day

Things No One Tells You…

…when your mom cannot come home because you can no longer provide everything she needs:

  • You will blame yourself even though you know you are doing the right thing.
  • You will have to explain to your mom over and over again why she cannot come home and it will rip your heart out every single time.
  • When she accuses you of not caring and abandoning her after everything she’s done for you, you will want to scrap the whole thing and just bring her home.
  • You will spend restless nights worrying about her and how she will adjust to a new environment.
  • You will want to scream in frustration at how complicated and fucked up the healthcare system is in this country.
  • You will be exhausted all the time, no matter how much you sleep.
  • You will feel like you are failing in all aspects of your life.
  • You will be able to keep it together just long enough to teach an online class in the hospital courtyard, but you will burst into tears as soon as you step into your home.
  • You will realize just how much you have lost and continue to lose as you pack clothes for her new home.
  • You will sob and say you cannot do this anymore, but you still have to keep going, if not for you, then for your mom.


  1. In 2018, my dad entered hospice and reading your post just brought back every feeling and emotion. It is like a checklist of every stage I went through then…I just want to let you know I’m here for you now. Sending strength, comfort and love!

  2. My sister is going through the exact same thing with her her husband. It is very tough. Taking care of yourself is just as important. Hugs.

  3. I am with you in heart and spirit, wishing it would be less stressful for you. Hoping there will be better days in the New Year, and more positive moments to focus on.

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