This week has been the hardest week of my life.
I got into it with family that I haven’t spoken to in a long time who have suddenly decided they care. That’s been draining. I felt like I was 10 years old again, but I managed to stand up for myself and do what’s best for my mom and me.
My mom is still in the hospital and had a seizure yesterday morning. While she moves around and opens her eyes, she remains unresponsive. I don’t want to talk about the doctors’ theories and possibilities because each one grows bleaker.
I spent several hours at the hospital yesterday. I didn’t intend on going to services, but I needed to leave because I was so frazzled and on edge. I needed to be surrounded by community.
I didn’t cry during services or curse God. I’m feeling numb and overflowing with too many thoughts and emotions, but I did feel more at peace being surrounded by community.
I will admit that I’m scared. I hate coming home to an empty place and I hate that the dogs keep looking for my mom. But I am so grateful to have my community, especially now. I may feel alone, but I know I am absolutely not alone and that’s what matters.