Still Processing

I’ve gotten much more love and support in the days following my d’var Torah than I thought I would, but perhaps the most meaningful has been from fellow Jews/People of Color. Even after going through the JewV’Nation Fellowship, I still have self-doubts about whether or not I’m being too sensitive. Deep down, I know I’m just telling the truth of my experiences, but to hear from other JOCs and POCs that they knew exactly what I was talking about and how they’ve thought and experienced the same things has been incredibly validating. I have to admit that I never thought I would ever speak up so loudly, but I’m glad I did.

I was surprised this afternoon at a staff meeting with applause and cookies. I have realized how little I like being the center of attention and I admit I was wanted to crawl into a hole, but I was really touched. My belief that Temple, at its core, is a truly a safe and warm place has been reaffirmed. Does that mean Temple doesn’t have work to do? Well, no, there’s always work to be done to make it even more welcoming and affirming to all people. However, it does mean that we are more than capable of doing just that and Rabbi Olan’s radical progressive views are still alive and well.

Each day I am more grateful that I didn’t bolt from the chapel before speaking on Friday.