2017 Day-By-Day

Day 75

At the end of February, I wrote about how I feel so much older than my peers, yet I also seem to be a late bloomer in the social sense. Sometimes I wonder if this perspective causes me to rush into new situations, with me hoping that I will finally feel like I’m on equal footing with my peers. I guess that feeling could also be explained by my lifelong tendency to overthink everything.

My mind is always running at a thousand miles an hour, racing and weaving through my days, bringing up obscure thoughts, wandering through crazy what-if scenarios, and generally giving me hell. Maybe that’s why I tend to be so cautious and why I feel like sometimes I’m wandering into new situations like a blind person walking in the middle of a street. It’s exciting but frightening. I don’t like feeling unsure, but 99% of life seems to trend towards that feeling.

I’m about to turn 30 and I think it’s time to embrace the uncertainty, as queasy as that makes me feel.

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