Day 45

I’m turning 30 soon.

May 7th.

Mark the date.

Oh, and I think I’m having an existential crisis.

I always keep promising myself that my life is going to change. More specifically, I tell myself that I am finally going to pursue all those hopes and dreams that I’ve been putting off for months, years even. I am going to be and achieve everything that I’ve ever dreamed about.

Then I wake up the next morning, faintly remembering my grand plans and aspirations. As pieces of that puzzle come together, I begin to see how those pieces don’t fit quite as well as I thought. I begin to consider my duties as a responsible adult (or something aspiring to that), see how those puzzle pieces are meant only for the young(er) and/or adventurous and slowly those plans fade until they are just worn memories shoved in the back of my head.

I like to know what’s next, but, obviously, I have no control over that. My current path does not have any resemblance to the plans I laid out carefully so many years ago. That’s not a bad thing, but I do still feel like I’m wandering around.