Day 351

I don’t even know how to describe tonight,  but it was pretty wonderful. A friend hosted a pre-services oneg for us and we had family and friends join us. I had thought about buying a dress specifically for tonight, but eventually settled on the dress I wore to erev Rosh Hashanah services the past two years. It felt right and it was a way to keep adding on the good memories to the dress. 

Tonight’s services had a congregational dinner afterwards, so it was shortened and there were a lot more kids than usual. It was beautiful and chaotic and I was so proud to be a member especially since it was the first time Stephen’s family had come to Temple. 

I felt really nervous before the service knowing that we’d be up in front of a lot of people. I just don’t like being the center of attention, even for a short time. But being called up to the bimah and listening to Rabbi Kim’s beautiful words and Cantor Glikin’s gorgeous voice as I held Stephen’s hand while leaning on him was magical. I must have had the biggest smile on my face as we turned to face the crowd as they began singing Siman Tov U’Mazal Tov and left the bimah. 

I cried a lot this afternoon. I think realizing that Mom really won’t be here for one of the happiest and biggest moments of my life just hit hard. I miss her so much, but I know she’d be so happy for me. I’m trying to remember that as the wedding day approaches. I just wish she was here. 


  1. I’m so happy for you ! I can’t wait to see you on Sunday. I’m sure you are going to be a beautiful bride. I know your mom is watching you from above. I truly believe your mom will be there with us watching you getting married. I can’t wait to meet your soon to be husband. I love you so much I know that I’m not your mom and I don’t get to see you very often , I really am happy for you.

  2. I’m happy you enjoyed the Oneg…and hope you remembered to get it all after services!????
    I had the same emotions at my wedding-28 years ago!- when my dad wasn’t with me in person. But he was with me in spirit and had, and has, been here the whole time. Your mom has been with you, too, and will be there tomorrow!

  3. Thank you for allowing us to be part of this very special life cycle event . We look forward to Sunday. Please know that your community will be with you and that your Mother will be watching over you and very happy for all the upcoming simcha’s you will experience. Best wishes.

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