My graduate program has a tefillah component. The faculty wants the students to lead parts of the service that they may not have led before in order to grow as educators. I go to New York at the end of this week for the summer intensive and volunteered to lead the Monday shacharit service. I’ve led parts of services, but never an entire service, so I thought I’d push myself. I am very much regretting this right now and am really nervous about how this is going to go.
I passed my spring course, which I’m both happy and relieved about. It was just such a rocky semester with my mom’s decline and death and trying to manage my emotions and then losing Roxy. I really thought there was a decent chance that I’d fail, as my brain did not want to work when I was writing my final paper. I know Mom would just tell me that I’m too hard on myself and I always do fine. I wish she was here to tell me that.