Day 350

Yesterday I was going back and forth over whether or not to stay for the congregational Hanukkah service. On the one hand, I wanted to celebrate the holiday in community for at least one night; on the other hand, some emotions that are all too familiar this time of year popped up and I decided against it. It’s hard to explain this dilemma to people and there are only about three people I know who really understand or at least sympathize with my situation, though one is related to me, one is my therapist, and the other is a rabbi.

There are times when I wish my brain was wired normally, but most of the time I’m grateful for it.