Day 23

This is what is tattooed on the inside of my wrist. It’s a quote from The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath and if you know anything about the novel or its author, then you’ll understand that I’ve gotten a wide range of reactions. I get tired of relaying the story and the tattoo’s meaning and several months ago, during a poetry challenge with some fellow writers, I wrote one about its meaning.

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Six Words

Once I admired those who dared to break their skin

Back in high school, I could see no future for myself

I was wrapped completely in darkness

Looking for a way out

When a few girls showed me their scars

It was oddly fascinating to see the physical symptoms of an invisible disorder

Their pain was so vast, so deep that it manifested into jagged scars on their wrists

My adolescent mind, grasping for some kind of meaning, thought this would make me happy

or at least numb the pain

or maybe end it

There are faint reminders of those days on my wrist

Five faded lines that can only be seen in just the right light

Maybe this is the reason I love Sylvia Plath

Her illness created words that were spun into poems and stories

Those sharp, carefully chosen words cut to the very bone of her pain

I have no need to harm myself these days but when the thought creeps into my mind,

I look down

Six of her words are permanently etched on my wrist

Reminding me of how far I’ve come and how far I need to go

I take a deep breath and think

I am I am I am

Written by Anjelica N. Ruiz