Day 124

Dear Unseen Omnipotent Force,

I think you know that I am grateful for many things even though I feel like I’m always angry or frustrated with you.

I’m grateful for my mother who has supported me through many difficult years and has been my cheerleader even when I have little confidence.

I am grateful for the many wonderful teachers I’ve had, the ones who saw potential in me and nurtured my love of learning.

I am grateful for the mental health professionals who have helped me manage my depression.

I am grateful for the kind email from Temple all those years ago, the one that set me on my Jewish journey.

I am grateful for this Jewish community that has become my family.

I am grateful for the many people who have shown me support during difficult times.

I am grateful for the rabbis who have let me talk through my crises of faith.

I am grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to travel overseas.

Our relationship is complicated. I have felt so frustrated and scared and lost in the past few weeks that I’ve taken it out on you many times. Despite that, I still have faith.

I am most grateful for the fact that, even during what feels like total and utter darkness, I still have hope.