My uncle, my mom’s brother-in-law, died early Sunday morning. We’re not going to the funeral, which is tomorrow, but we sent a wreath. I think we’re both just not ready or prepared to see extended family. I wasn’t all that close to this uncle, but I don’t know how I feel.
Possibly related: I cried after taking a shower this evening. I haven’t cried in a while and I think keeping everything so bottled up isn’t healthy for me, but I honestly feel like I don’t have someone to turn to or, at least, someone who would understand.
I left work early yesterday because I wasn’t feeling great and I had a sore throat. I woke up this morning sounding like a frog was in my throat and my head throbbing. I stayed home, which I wasn’t all that happy about because I have a lot to do, but I know it was the responsible thing to do.
Someone recently told me they couldn’t see me having children, ever. I laughed a bit and said I did want children and they insinuated that I would not be a good parent. I don’t think my heart has ever shattered so completely. I do want at least one child and I already know it’s going to be hard for me to get pregnant because I have PCOS and for someone to say that to me just left me devastated. I’m already scared that I’ll never meet someone and fall in love. I’m scared that they’re right.
