Night Five

I went to the choir Hanukkah concert at NorthPark tonight and I’m really glad I did. The music was joyous and beautiful and I loved seeing so many familiar faces around me celebrating the holiday. I felt very much at home, which is a Hanukkah miracle in itself.

The winter holidays have been hard for me to get through since my grandma died over 23 years ago. It’s such a family centered time of year and since it’s just my mom and me, it can feel lonely. There was the year the Christmas tree fell over, which marked the end of that tradition and holidays haven’t gotten any easier for me since converting. Still, it feels like something has shifted and I can say that this holiday season has been surprisingly tear-free. Maybe it’s because this year has been pretty terrible, which makes the calm and happy moments even more important or maybe it’s because my faith has grown deeper or maybe I’ve just finally made peace with the holidays. In any case, I’m just thankful for this shift.