Day 198

Rosh Hashanah is hitting differently this year and not only because Mom is gone. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why though, at least not until this afternoon.

I lit Shabbat and yom tov candles last night for the first time in my new home. I’ve usually been alone when I’ve done that in the past, but last night my boyfriend’s daughter was watching me and asking questions. Today I went to one of the Rosh Hashanah day services, which I don’t usually do, and I was accompanied by my boyfriend and both of his kids. Sharing that with people I love and know will be with me for future lifecycle events was incredibly meaningful in a way I’ve never experienced before.

Mom may be gone, but I’m not alone, not by a long shot, and beginning the year like that fills me with hope.