On The Importance Of Names
Eliza had her naming ceremony today and it was beautiful. Stephen and I shared how we came to decide on her names.
Eliza, this past year has been quite a whirlwind for your papa and me. We met nearly 15 months ago at Half Price Books and now we are celebrating your naming and officially welcoming you into the Jewish community. We are so thankful to have you here as the fifth and newest member of our blended family.
When your papa and I met, I had nearly given up hope that I would have my own family due to a combination of bad dating experiences and being told multiple times that it would be hard for me to get pregnant. Yet, last September, on a whim and after your papa made a joke about my period being late, I took a test and it was positive! After a rough year full of heartbreaking loss, meeting your papa and siblings and then finding out we were expecting you felt like a true miracle and absolute dream come true.
Your papa and I talked a lot about what to name you and it was him who suggested naming you in honor of my mom and his grandmother.
Just three months before we met and seven months before I took that pregnancy test, my mom, your grandma, died. Her name was Elizabeth and she was one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. She raised me on her own and sacrificed so much for me. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her. She was tough, loved reading, adored her rescue dogs (and preferred them to most people), and was stubborn as hell. But she had a well-hidden soft, sentimental side that meant that I never questioned if she loved me, even when we were butting heads (which was often) or screaming at each other. I wish you could have met her. She would have been cranky with everyone else, but she would have spoiled you rotten. My hope for you is that you inherit her stubbornness (which is already pretty evident), strength, and determination.
As your mama said, we also named you after my grandmother, Elizabeth. Most knew her as Betty, we called her Maw-maw. Hearing what Mama said about her mom, I must throw in that Betty was, to a fault, as stubborn as they come. What I’m seeing from you… We’ll call it …. Determination! Betty’s most noticeable quality was her fierce love for family, well, that, and living and sleeping on the couch by the front door, smoking like a chimney, frustrated screams of mild obscenities, and having the TV on 24/7. Maw-maw showed her love through action, always trying to cook your favorite meal. I remember acceptance… accepting each of her babies and people around her, appreciating their unique quirks. The love I felt from her, I hope to transmit the same to you.
Your middle name, Esperanza, means hope in Spanish. Mama and I have been through a lot in our lives and there were many times when hope seemed just out of reach, but somehow we kept moving forward and that’s how we found each other at just the right time. That’s what we want for you, for you to know that even when things are tough, there is always hope. You will always have your family and community to remind you of that and to provide guidance and support.
I was so excited to choose your Hebrew name. I came to Judaism in my mid-twenties, but you are growing up Jewish. You will be able to experience Judaism in ways that I cannot, like going to religious school and Jewish summer camp and having a bat mitzvah. I am so grateful that I am able to give that to you and that your papa committed to raising you Jewish before you even existed in my belly.
Your Hebrew name, Adira Lior, reflects what we both hope for you and what you mean to us. Adira means strong and powerful, while Lior means “my light.” Eliza, you are our strong and powerful light, coming after many years of uncertainty and struggle. You are only three months old, but your smiles and giggles light up the room. Watching you with your big brother and sister is a privilege and that is something else that I am grateful to be able to give you. I am an only child, which has been quite lonely at times, but you have the best siblings who love you. Papa and I look forward to watching all of you grow up together.
Eliza, we commit to giving you the freedom and room to grow into your own person. We hope that you embrace all parts of your identity and know that you don’t have to sacrifice one part of it for the other. We hope that you always know how much you are loved and that you are safe with us, with your extended family, and with your community. Thank you for choosing us.