Day 303

My amazing fiancée moved the contents of my storage unit down in Oak Cliff to a place much closer to where we live today. I’ve been going through some boxes, mostly filled with my mom’s papers. I found insurance statements from when I was admitted to an adolescent psychiatric hospital, along with the change-of-shift request forms my mom filed for that time. I’m getting a better understanding of how deeply my mom loved me, despite her not being the most emotionally open person. I also found a note from her own doctor instructing her to begin taking an antidepressant during that tumultuous time and to “hang in there.” I knew it was a really tough time for her, since no one in our family knew what was going on at the time, but I guess I never really thought about it in depth before. I am so lucky to have had her on my side during all of this. She fought so hard for me to get the treatment I needed so I could survive and thrive.

I also went through a box of my old baby clothes that she had saved and they still smelled like her, which is amazing. She loved me so much, even more than I knew or comprehended while she was still alive. I hope I can do that for my daughter.